So, just got back from the pulmonologist. She informed me I don't have sleep apnea or narcolepsy...duh. She did however say from my sleep study I seem to be clinically sleep deprived. Really? I have two toddlers, I routinely wake up 2-7 times a night to take care of them and YOU are informing ME that I'm sleep deprived. Get outta here...No way?! Silly doctor. She is such a sweet woman, but she is in her mid/late 30's and is single without children. She just doesn't understand... She informed me that I needed to get more sleep, start taking routine daily naps, watch my caffeine intake, and she put me on a medicine to help me feel less sleepy during the day. I hate to tell her, but Derrick wakes up at 5 am to go to work. I can't honestly make him wake up with the kids all night long and then head off for work at the crack of dawn. On his days off he does get up with the kids, but I can't sleep when he is up with them. I'm constantly wondering if he is doing everything right. Lord knows he is, but I'm apparently just that anal when it comes to the kids. The naps just aren't going to happen. I can't lay down in the middle of the day and be expected to wake back up in a decent mood only 45 minutes later. That's crazy talk. I drink almost no caffeine everyday, so that instruction is not going to be hard. We will just have to see how this medicine works out.
It's just funny to me how much work kids are. Mothers literally hand over their bodies to their children the day they become pregnant. You find yourself sleeping when your children sleep, eating when your children eat, working when your children are playing. All of those silly books tell you to get your children on a routine, but I'm fairly sure I just put myself on my children's routine. I'm sure that most mothers have done the same.
To my doctor...
Dear Sweet Dr. Annie Nawab,
Your wonderful, don't get me wrong, but I think your a little delusional. Mothers don't get to sleep when they want to sleep, we don't get to eat when we want to eat, we do nothing on our own regard. That is what makes us mothers. I will bring my children in for my 3 month follow-up with you, and you can kindly try to explain to them why mommy needs sleep. If you could convey to them that sleep loss causes things such as: weight gain, irritability, memory loss, or increased blood pressure, I would greatly appreciate it. I think those things will really hit home with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Maybe you could tell them a story about how Santa got too stressed out, lost a lot of sleep, forgot about Christmas, found out he was gaining weight from diabetes and got so irritated that his blood pressure shot through the roof and he suffered a heart attack and keeled over and died. If you think that's a little too rough, you can change it up a bit, but I really think that will do the trick.
Best Regards,
Magen Balmas
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