Transparency.

The kids just woke up from a 3 1/2 hour nap. This kind of nap is kind of like groundhog day. It happens approximately once a year, you never really know when it's coming until it's happening and you never quite know the outcome. Either way, it was great. The kids woke up very cheerful and it gave Derrick and I, a chance to lay in bed and watch Marley and Me again. We have seen the movie once before, and I thought it was good the first time around. When I watched it today, it was like watching it for the first time. For any of you that haven't seen it, or don't have children your probably thinking..."what the movie about the crazy dog?" The movie is much more than that. Specifically, the part of the movie when they find out that they are about to have a second child. I don't know what I didn't see the first time around, but today I felt like the movie was a script taken right out of my life. I found tears streaming down my face. Why? I'm not exactly sure. I think they might have been tears of relief. I think we have trouble admitting when things become difficult. Let me rephrase that. ''I think I have trouble admitting when things become difficult.'' Jennifer Aniston has a line in the movie and she says "no one ever tells you how hard it is. how hard marriage is. how hard parenting is. i feel like i have given up so much of what made me me, but this was a choice." This is so true. When you get married and have children, your life changes. Completely. I'm not saying it's always bad, because it is not. The great things that marriage and children provide, far outweigh the difficulties. The only problem is, everyone is afraid to speak of the difficulties that they face on an everyday basis. Everyone is so busy trying to save-face, that they are afraid to open up and speak the truth. We all have the same arguments, we all have the same stresses, we all have the same irritants. That's part of life. We all just have to find ways to adjust so we can get out alive. Or cope...however you want to look at it. Saying I am human, I make mistakes, I am a shitty wife sometimes and by all means I could be a more patient mother, does not make me crazy. It makes me honest, both with myself and anyone who cares to find out. None of us are perfect. I am not Cinderella. My husband is not Prince Charming, but he is someone that has vowed to live with me and put up with my emotional, ever-changing self for the rest of his life. That makes him pretty phenomenal in my eyes. I think we all need a more realistic view on life. I can only be as great as I chose to be.