My Life.

Before you have kids, you can't appreciate the humor that children provide. You just don't understand, it's impossible. That being said...it's been a rough week around here, mostly involving the kids. This week I feel like someone buried my body in the sand, and only my head is poking out with the tide about to roll in. The great thing about kids is they always sense tension and they try to break it. Maybe subconsciously, but however they do it...it works. I was roaming around online trying to look for a cheap Branson hotel for this week, when Addi runs into the room and says "mom you should probably come look at this!" So I bolt into Conner's room, only to find him STANDING UP on his diaper changing station...after my brain took 2 seconds to try and figure out how he got up there in the first place, I immediately scooped him up and placed him on the ground. Upon doing so, I didn't even notice that he was covered in diaper rash creme. I walked back to the kitchen, made a glass of apple juice and returned to Conner's room...Wondering what that strange smell is. I sat there for a second, noticed the diaper rash ointment was exactly where it was supposed to be, so that couldn't be it...right?! Looked around, finally looked at Conner...really looked at him. There is a strange smiley face painted on the left side of his face in diaper rash ointment. His hair has been partially spiked with the same paste, and Silas was apparently a victim of the ointment crime too....Poor boys. It was also all over Addi's shirt, covering Buzz Lightyear, wiped all over the diaper changing station, and had now made its way to the couch. Moments like these really make you appreciate the humor that children provide. Yes, it will be more work for me to clean up the mess, but ultimately the one hard laugh it provided me with is enough of a high, to make me forget about the clean up process. Oh, and if your wondering...I asked Addi why she covered the boys in the diaper rash cream and she said "I wanted them too look like they had bird poop on them." I really don't know where she gets this stuff?

As I type this right now, Silas is pelting me with fruit loops. I don't know why, (last time I checked, he liked them?) but I know that when he is done, he will stop...and for now it's strangely funny to have to type/dodge cheerios at the same time. I figure he is just trying to improve my hand/eye coordination. Maybe I've lost it. Oh well!

One bad mother.

This week I am feeling like a horrible mother! I don't know if my heads not in the game, or what?! Thursday Addi drank half a bottle of children's ibuprofen, Friday I double-dosed her Singular without knowing it, and Saturday I lost her in Root 03. Seriously?! What is wrong with me??? Thursday morning Conner was walking through the house with Addi's plastic sippy cup and he tripped and fell on it. He pushed his teeth backwards and tore the little piece of skin that is normally attached to your two upper teeth. Once I got the bleeding to stop, I gave him some ibuprofen then recapped the bottle and set it up on the kitchen island. At that point in time all I was worried about was cleaning up blood and trying to get Conner to let me see his teeth. Later that day I was making dinner and apparently Addi came up behind me and stole the half-full bottle of ibuprofen off the counter. It's amazing, she is the most clumsy child until it comes time to do something she isn't supposed to. Well, she figured out the 'child-proof' cap and drank what was left in the bottle. She came into the kitchen after she had done it and held up the bottle and said "mom, I drank all the medicine." I flipped out, called poison control and they said she would be fine. I got so lucky! That's actually the second time I have had to call poison control in 6 months...Conner ate part of a fireplace petroleum log a couple months prior...he was fine too, they said it was mostly saw dust...thank you Jesus! Poison control is going to start charging me a yearly fee...lol. j/k. Well then Friday night I went with Lauren to Walmart and Derrick kept the kids and started their bedtime routine. I got home and he went straight to sleep, so I asked Addi if dad had given her medicine to her...she said no, so I gave her the Singular. Derrick woke up right as I was putting her in her bed and he said "you didn't give her the Singular again did you?" UGH! Yes, yes I did. Because I thought I could trust my almost three year old to tell me the truth (stupid, I know!) and I would assume that if he gave her the Singular, he would've told me. He told me I should've asked him, and that he wouldn't have ever thought to tell me that before going to bed. Whatever...that's a battle I will never win. He is a Scorpio...he was born to argue. Then last night we were leaving dinner, and the 11 adults in the group had passed around the kids all night, and we all thought Addi was with uncle Will. Well no one had Addi, we all flipped out and started running around trying to find her...turns out she went back to look at the fish in the tanks without telling anyone. Some elderly people helped her up onto a chair and watched over her for the 2-4 minutes that she was with them. Ugh, who freaking loses their child?! Idk, whats going on. I feel like I have failed this week. Fail, with a capital 'F.' Nervous about what could happen today, so we are just going to hide out in the house, with no medicine, or fireplace logs, or super hard sippy cups.

Judgemental...

So, I ran out to DG yesterday to get some spray 'n wash and I ran into a 'crazy mom.' You know the mom that shouts things like "if you don't get your butt over here right now, I swear it will be straight to bed when we get home" at the top of her lungs. That mom, that says exactly what she means, but about 15 decibels louder than you would ever dream of. For a second I sat there judging her, but then I started envying her. Earlier in the day I had uttered that same statement to Addi. The only difference was my system of delivery. I bent down right next to her and whispered it in her ear, in hopes that none of the 5 people in the George Washington Carver park could hear that I was disciplining my child. That's crazy...why can we no longer discipline our children like we deem necessary?! I'm not saying abuse is any means of discipline, but people are so judgemental anymore. Addi will throw a huge fit in the middle of the store if she doesn't get what she wants, and it's incredibly frustrating. Everyone looks at you awkwardly for letting your child scream, but when you sit her down and tell her she will be 'making a trip to the bathroom if her attitude doesn't improve' the looks become more rude...like what you said to her was completely vulgar and out of line. My IQ is higher than our former president, I am not an idiot and I understand what is right and wrong. If I feel like I should be disciplining my child, I will do so. But anyways, that 'crazy mom' really isn't so crazy, she is just very forthright and unapologetic. That would technically make her more sane than crazy. Go figure. Time to stop judging people, you never know when you will land in their shoes.

Rants and Raves

I secretly created this blog to complain about life, and now your reading it...jokes on you! j/k. I will try and voice my complaint in an eloquent way, so that it may seem as if I'm not bitching...

One of my biggest pet peeves is when Derrick comes home from work and he says "how was your day?" My reply lately has usually been "well, i have been arguing with the kids all day long." His reply to that is "I hear ya, I have to argue with people all day long too."

That makes me so angry...his fellow employees can argue their point and effectively communicate what is bothering them...my fellow co-workers just cry and scream, and occasionally bring up a valid issue that we can discuss. Do his fellow employees tug at his pant leg and cry when they aren't being held, because he is having to load the dishwasher or start cooking dinner??? I think not. The guys at work don't start crying when Derrick has to explain to them why they shouldn't eat a bag of chips for breakfast or throw toys into the washing machine without his knowledge.

Addi can communicate quite effectively; however, she is still 2...and terribly dramatic. Conner has about 10 words in his vocabulary, thats it...thats all I have to work with...As a mom that can be so hard. When you don't have effective communication, you have absolutely no tools to solve problems. Conner has been screaming his head off for the last two days. I can not figure out what is bothering him, and after almost 36 hours of it, my patience has been all but exhausted.

So the last thing I want to hear about is how my husband argues with his coworkers, just like I have to argue with the kids...i'm calling b.s. on this one.

Staying at home with the kids is hard. There are no clock in, clock out times. There are no scheduled breaks, no scheduled lunch times, no paid time off, no weekends to run away, no sick days, and especially no personal days. I stay at home to ensure that my children are being well taken care of. I would love to be able to find a good daycare that I could trust, but you never know anymore...too many horror stories! As a mom, you have such a burden to carry around. You are expected to raise your children to be loving, nurturing, smart, and just well-rounded individuals...but there are some days that I am like...well we made it through another day alive, yep they had cupcakes for breakfast, and nope they haven't seen a hairbrush...but they are still here...happy and pretty much healthy...so that's good enough for me!

Tantrums

Ok, so OCCASIONALLY I throw a tantrum. Every once in a great while. About six years ago, I got so mad at Derrick, I threw the remote control at him. He ducked, and the remote hit the wall and busted into many tiny pieces. He made me get up and turn the channel and adjust the volume until we could afford to buy another t.v. (the universal remote, of course didn't work for that t.v.). That pretty much taught me not to throw things. lol. Well tonight, I got so irritated at Derrick I threw a closed-up dirty diaper at his head. Not like a 'i hate you' type of throw. Just an 'i'm so irritated with you, i have asked you to help me put the kids to bed 3 times now, get off the damn computer, your not buying a new truck off craigslist' type of throw. lol. I'm not a nagging wife, so when I do finally ask for Derricks help, I expect him to at least pretend to help me. I can't complain, the guy is pretty much perfect...but damn. Don't make me throw a dirty diaper at your head. If thats not redneck, i'm not quite sure what is. Ah, marriage...he gets to be with me for the rest of his life...what a lucky man!!!

Just a thought...

So I think some people are more 'emotionally in-tune' with the world...that's the phrase I like to use, because 'psychic' just sounds creepy. Sometimes I wonder if the dreams and thoughts I have are 'normal.' I will let you decide for yourself...

Example 1: tonight, while I was loading my groceries into my trunk...I was thinking about Jamie Peterson and wondering how she was doing...and I turned around and she was there...at 9 o' clock at night, in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Coincidence...maybe.

Example 2: had a random dream about a friend coming up and introducing me to her new baby boy. hadn't seen or talked to her in years, e-mailed her and told her my silly dream...she responded and explained that she had just found out they were expecting and they hadn't told anyone yet...so I had to keep a secret for 2 more months. turns out the baby was a girl...so I was half right

Coincidence...maybe.

Example 3: had a dream derricks dad bought a dark green chevy avalanche, next day derricks dad called and told him about it, derrick got off the phone and said 'hey babe, guess what dad just bought' i said 'a dark green chevy avalanche'...after he picked up his jaw from the ground he called his dad to find out the color, turns out it was burgandy...again, only half right.

Coincidence...maybe.

Example 4: (creepy example) driving through the backwoods of pierce city one night, alone...saw a dark figure sitting by the side of the road...tall, slender man...just a dark figure...so no face or anything...but he was in a plaid shirt...(apparently my mind likes a little bit of detail). talked to derricks grandma about it a couple weeks later, turns out that same exact spot was where a man had commited suicide in his vehicle a couple of years prior, and derricks uncle was the one to first find his body.

Coincidence...maybe.

Just weird...I don't really know why I have these dreams, thoughts, etc. so I just assume that God is trying to tell me someone needs to talk, so I attempt to talk to the person that is weighing so heavily on my mind. Weird. Those are just a couple of examples I can think of. Do I freak you out a little now? lol.

Writers Block!

Memories last forever, so shouldn't one make them monumentous? If they are going to live in your brain for the rest of your life, (and take up much needed space...) they should be memories that count!
As a mom, sometimes I wish I could go back and relive some of the memories that were just about me. That's selfish, but it's true. I think your brain should have a quick cross-refrencing tool to sort out your memories...filed away as such:

Good memories

• Memories involving kids


• Memories involving spouse


• Memories involving self


• Memories when you felt truely appreciated


• Memories that are secret


• Memories specifically involving the 5 senses

Bad memories (inbox deleted after 7 days)

• just plain bad.

It would be crazy if your memory was a really long video that you could rewind and fast-forward through...but knowing myself, I would psycho-analyze every single detail when I watched it...so it's probably best that I just live in the moment! Carpe Diem, Quam Minimum Credula Postero!